does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
