Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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