we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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