just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he puts the penis in happiness.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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