I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
