Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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