he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
