The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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