What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
