I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
