Pappa wants mamma naked
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
