Will you blow on my dice?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
