Who wears a wallet chain?!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
