Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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