I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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