I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
