this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
this is an emotional support booty call
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
