Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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