Where did you get a picture of my penis
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
