I'm sorry my penis didn't work
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sorry about my life...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
