Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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