He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
