i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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