Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
