I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
