Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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