Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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