Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
