"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
