u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
