that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
