I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
