and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
