Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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