sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
