She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
