Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
