it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
