the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
