Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
