I'm really into asian looking animals
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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