There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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