My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
