if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
