You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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