I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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