I want to stick my p in your. b.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
