Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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