i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
