put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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