They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
