If i come over, it means nothing
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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